Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
