i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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