The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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