It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
