I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
