Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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