just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
