The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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