I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
