this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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