i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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