Soap is not a condiment
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up under a house in Key West
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
