We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
