I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
