just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
