dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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