I just saw a hot homeless man
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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