i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
