Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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