my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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