I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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