There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
