Yo dont text me then not text me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
