They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize