Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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