I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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