I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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