do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
