You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
