First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize