I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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