why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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