her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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