Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
