How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
