Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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