well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
