my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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