when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
