Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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