anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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