he shaved USA in his pubs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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