You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
