i just wanna soil my oats bro
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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