Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
