Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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