Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
