I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
