ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
