You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
