i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
