If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
