I'm really into asian looking animals
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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