so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
