ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
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