i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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