I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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