I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
