Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They took my balls.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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