So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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