found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
