If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
