he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
