shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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