there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
